The daughter of my very good friend, William, died. Their daughter is 3 months old. Yesterday, my friend Lorey and I attended the burial of the baby. The cemetery was filled with saddened faces weighed down by the heart-breaking loss of the precious only child of our friend. Good friends wore black and white, colors of mourning. When William’s father-in-law gave a eulogy, I learned that their daughter was the first grandchild in their family. I was saddened. When Vivian, William's wife, shared her story of her child, the manner and the core of her message seemed too strong to lift our down spirits up. She was mourning yes, but she was also grateful and filled with love. She is in pain but even the short time lived as a mother and as a small family seemed to have been an enough expression for her to shower so much love to her daughter, and to receive as much from her. Despite her sad eyes washed with tears, there was a light of awe on how much her little babe have allowed so much bond and love for family and friends.
A few weeks ago, I commented on one of Vivian’s FB post on how much I love the name of their baby – Himaya! I could imagine a blinding light, a blessing sent from God. Her name tells of a beautiful story of how she carried with her this binding grace of a Divine God who has wonderfully gifted her to her parents and their family who would have anticipated for her coming; waited joyfully for her to finally complete their small, starting family.
But when her parents spoke about how she lived; even for a short time, a very short time, truly, Himaya lived up to her name – Glory, an experience of bliss to us who have encountered her!
When William spoke, I learned that when Himaya was still in her 3rd month of conception, their doctor announced a sad news that she would not survive, it was rock bottom because the doctor did not even hint of possibility of making it to her birth. Her parents tried to be positive and strong. On her fourth month, the result of the test was reversed; it was a miracle. A few months after, her parents learned that she had cleft pallet. This crushed the hearts of their parents. William spoke to her with a hurting heart of how her baby seemed to have gone through a lot even if she was still in her Mama’s tummy. But they remained stronger; they comforted her that she will be accepted with great love and they are anticipating with much excitement for her. Her parents asked her to remain strong; be well and healthy. When Himaya was born, her mother had a bleeding so she had to be kept in the hospital; and Himaya brought to another hospital with better facilities. It was at these times that family and good friends have helped them in watching over baby Himaya and helping provide for breast milk while her mother can’t provide for her in the meantime.
This reminded me of my sister and my nephew who went through almost the same thing. My nephew was born pre-mature. On her third month of conception, my sister had a bleeding because of much pressure from work as a nurse. She needed to have a bed rest. While I was working in the morning, I stayed in her room in the evenings. We would talk to the baby in her tummy; we would assure him over and again; I would kiss him so many times with my sister’s tummy between us. I loved him deeply even before I met him and we tried to be strong for him. He was my playmate even if we participated in our games in different worlds – I here, and he inside my sister’s tummy. He would kick me when I press to hard on him; he would get my put and a lot of kisses. On her eight month, my sister experienced another bleeding and she had to go through a caesarean procedure. Being pre-mature; my sister could also not provide her own breast milk, we tried everything and nothing would come out. He was so small and fragile but he awakened the sense of family among us; how this little guy has evoked so much love in our family. Now at three years old, there are times when I carry him and he wraps his little hands around my neck, I would tease him and let my hands free from holding him. In the middle of chuckles, he would struggle to hold tighter on my neck so he would not fall and I would say “You really have that ability of holding tightly little buddy!”
Both Vivian and William would say how their little babe is such a courageous little girl, even when she was not born yet. I was moved on how she seemed to be so determined to live and have been graced with miracles because of her desire to be with her family; to see them; touch them; allow her parents to shower her with love and protection and give them so much love and so much joy in return. Baby Himaya carries with her the miracle of life! At such a very young and tender age, she seemed to have known what many of us don’t – to live because of love! Oh how many of us has become such coward at loving because of the vulnerability it costs. She has accomplished so much in such little time given her.
Her parent’s quoted Khalil Gibran’s poem "On Children" as they let her go to God’s hands. “Go straight to heaven, Anak. Go straight to heaven. And if by chance, you are playing in the clouds; look down to us – your papa and me.” Beautiful words from a mother who assures safety and guidance to her child in the midst of her aching heart.
Thank you, Baby Himaya,
for how you have touched our lives. Return now to the bosom of our Divine
Creator who gifted us with the miracle of your courage, the love you brought
and the life you lived!